Sex Tips For Geeks: Introduction

Computer hackers don't have to be helpless chum in the shark pool of dating. We have some advantages, and with a little understanding of human ethology we can learn how to use them and play the mating game effectively.

In these columns I'll talk mainly about heterosexual male hackers trying to hook up with women. There are two reasons for this:

First, while there are other permutations, male-hacker-seeking-female is much the most common given the skewed sex ratio of the hacker population. A perhaps surprising amount of the advice transfers to other combinations with only minor pronoun changes.

Second, I'm writing what I know. I'm a man who likes women myself; and since I'm happily married, there's at least some historical evidence that I know what I'm talking about. If you aren't interested in getting hitched yet, then you may find it more relevant that I had a lot of girlfriends and lovers before I was married. The prudes among you are invited to assume that I stopped refining my technique at that point.

(The series title is a tribute to Cynthia Heimel's funny and wise book, Sex Tips For Girls.)

As a sanity-check on my chromosomal biases, I've recruited two beautiful geekgirl assistants; Cathy and Amy. They will supply an antiphonal female point of view, adding a touch of class to what might otherwise remain a vulgar brawl.

Cathy: "I've been hanging out with geek guys because they are more interesting to talk to since before I got rid of my virginity. My day job is practicing law in Philadelphia. My hobby is dealing with Eric Raymond, who happens to be my mate. We have practiced polyamory since before the word was invented."

(Others who contributed insights include Miche Erica Campbell, John Cowan, and Rachel Chalmers.)

As you read these essays, consider this: the advantage you're most likely to have as a hacker is high intelligence, an ability to figure out things and understand complex systems. So, why not apply that systematically to understanding to how people behave when they're flirting and dating and mating?

You might learn a few things. You might even get laid...